The Rev. Caroline Penhale, a mentor at Backstory Preaching, serves as the Shepherd in the Collective/+ community and leads Transition and Thrive, our coaching program for newer preachers. She serves as a Vocational Minister in The United Church of Canada and as a coach in private practice. You can learn more about Caroline at www.clearmomentcoaching.ca.
If you were thriving in your preaching life, how would you know?
Merriam Webster suggests that to thrive means to flourish, prosper or progress toward a goal despite or because of circumstances.
Ministry is full of difficult circumstances—circumstances that could have us white-knuckling our way from week to week, simply trying to endure.
I’m curious, then, about what it takes to thrive despite or even because of some of these challenging circumstances.
I define thriving as feeling a sense of vitality, confidence and peace, despite whatever might be swirling around me.
And that means bringing life into balance so that ministry does not swallow up the other meaningful and necessary elements of a vibrant existence.
There are many tools we can use to help us to know how we’re doing.
Recently, Lisa wrote about the practice of Examen, where we ask three essential questions:
What went well?
What surprised you?
What would you do differently next time?
In coaching, we often use a tool called the Wheel of Life to assess where things are going well and where there is room for improvement.
And the results can be surprising.
The Wheel of Life is a pie-chart graphic, where each pie segment represents a particular area of life: career, finances, health, family & friends, romance, personal development, fun & recreation, and contribution to society.
This tool helps us see which areas of our lives need care and attention. When areas are out of balance with each other, our wheel looks misshapen, and you could imagine it wobbling along awkwardly if rolled down the road of life.
Let’s look at how you can use the Wheel of Life to quickly diagnose where life may be out of balance for a smoother ride.
The top image is of a completed wheel. The bottom is the blank wheel ready to use. We suggest replacing “Physical Environment” with “Contribution to Society.”
Identify What is Going Well
Let’s say Sam completes the Wheel of Life assessment and finds that his career and his contribution to society segments both have high scores, affirming that even though there are challenges and frustrations to manage, all in all, these are areas of life where Sam is satisfied. That clarity alone is enough to increase his sense of well-being.
Identify what is struggling or anemic
Continuing, Sam notices that his health segment is in the mid to low range. He isn’t surprised and he acknowledges that there is room for improvement. This creates an opportunity for Sam to reflect on what changes would make a difference to his health and choose to implement some of these changes with support from his coach.
Identify what is missing entirely
Finally, what comes as a total surprise for Sam, is that his fun & recreation score is almost non-existent. The has been his blind spot up until now. When pressed, he can’t really remember the last time he had fun or laughed out loud. He has no hobbies or leisure pursuits, and his wheel of life is wobbly.
Importance of framing/reframing when making change
At this point, Sam’s coach would invite him to get curious about adding fun and leisure to his life. Sam might admit it’s time to do something about that. At first, this might seem like something he has to do. He could frame this challenge as a chore. Or he could reframe this as an opportunity to enjoy his life more. He could shift his self-talk from “I have to “ to “I get to”. He gets to prioritize fun as a way of bringing balance to his life. He could begin to give himself permission to play, saying “ I get to learn to play the guitar” or “I get to hang out with my grandchildren more often.”
Your power to make choices that support thriving
Practices like the Examen and tools like the Wheel of Life help us to become clear about what is and isn’t working. In turn, this empowers to us make choices to do things differently.
This power to make choices lies at the heart of thriving.
And while we don’t always have the best of circumstances, the Wheel of Life assessment gives us a chance to see where we are now and where we’d like to be—and to take gradual steps in that direction.
Thriving then results from a series of deliberate choices.
For example, saying no to that wider church committee role and to organizing the post-Covid family reunion will help you say yes to that Thai cooking class or pickle ball group that you sense would bring you joy.
As we make those choices and act on them, we see our pie segment scores go up, and our wheel of life rolls along more smoothly.
Try it for yourself!
Assign a score from 1 to 10 of your level of satisfaction in each area of your life as represented by a pie segment.
What do you notice?
What’s going well? What surprises you?
Get curious and then take action: what is one step you could take to increase your satisfaction in an area with a low score? What do you now “get to” do differently?
Does this type of reflection resonate?
I’d love for you to join me in Transition & Thrive.
I am getting ready to lead a coaching program here at Backstory Preaching called Transition & Thrive.
It’s a 5-month coaching program (plus a full year of membership in The Collective+) designed to help new grads and first call preachers.
Together, we’ll explore what’s working, where things are wobbly, and where they could be improved—and create action plans to help you get there.
If you are a new preacher or feel like you are a new preacher still, I invite you to register today and join us.