One of my favorite bible stories is when Abraham talks God down from destroying the city of Sodom (Genesis 18.22-33).
Abraham negotiates using the number of righteous people who might be found there as the bargaining chip.
Surely God would not want to destroy the righteous people along with the unrighteous.
But how many righteous would it take to tip the balance and spare them all?
In suggesting that fifty was a reasonable number, Abraham appeals to God’s character: Shall not the Judge of all the earth do what is just?”
God agrees that on the basis of fifty righteous people city should be spared, thus also reinforcing his own character as just.
Abraham then is self-deprecating, reinforcing God’s character as more powerful and in control: “Let me take it upon myself to speak to my lord, I who am but dust and ashes” while talking God down to 45 righteous.
God agrees to the terms and Abraham’s inference.
In a pattern as Abraham talks God down to 40, 30, 20, and finally 10 righteous, he introduces each number with “Don’t be angry if I speak again” or “Let me take it upon myself to speak.”
Each time that God does not respond in anger and lets Abraham keep talking, it reveals God’s what? Patience? Generosity? Forbearance? Love?
All of the above? Probably.
Moreover, the entire exchange reveals God’s willingness to learn, be open-minded, and change one’s mind.
Depending on the tone of voice we hear in our inner ear when we read this story, we might read this as Abraham manipulating God through flattery, but I don’t think that’s the case.
First off, I doubt that God be manipulated.
And secondly, Abraham and God are “tight.”
They have a deep and trusting relationship.
I see this much more as Abraham “seeing” God for who God truly is.
Like a skilled parent, teacher, or coach, Abraham asks questions that help God hear her thoughts out loud until, like the Prodigal Son, God “comes to himself.”
Abraham guides God’s change of mind by tapping into the god God knows Godself to be: one of merciful loving-kindness.
The obstacles to change
With our planet in crisis, fear running rampant, and a tragic and sinful rise in dehumanizing the “other,” we really need God’s help to get our act together and follow the Golden Rule.
But change is hard.
We know it is whenever we try to change ourselves, the systems we lead, and the hearts to whom we preach.
Any type of change is hard, and no type is harder than changing our minds.
Here are just a few reasons that make it so hard:
Our brains resist the anxiety of uncertainty, so we jump to conclusions to manage the anxiety—whether or not our conclusions are accurate.
As we age, our brains are less elastic and less capable of change (and who mostly sits in our pews but an aging population?).
Changing our minds can be seen as a character defect, and we might be labeled a “flip-flopper.”
But perhaps there is no greater reason we fear changing our minds than this one: it causes us to question our character, the very definition we have of our “selves.”
The key to avoiding shame when suggesting change
Etymologically, “character” comes from the “Latin character, from Greek kharaktēr ‘engraved mark, also ‘symbol or imprint on the soul.’
A “symbol or imprint on the soul” sounds about as permanent as it gets.
We all want to think well of ourselves, and being a “good person” is imprinted on our souls; we believe that’s who we are.
When we suggest during a sermon that change is needed, the listener hears that that they are not as good as they see themselves.
Whether we intend it or not, they hear that we as the preacher—and by extension, God—see their character as lacking.
If they have a deep trust in God’s grace, that can feel like a liberating blessing, moving them past their “false” selves to a truer one, re-formed closer in Christ’s image.
This is possible only if they see their identity as a child of God, a relationship they believe cannot be severed even when parts of their character need a tune-up.
If, however, they don’t trust in God’s grace, they might feel shamed instead.
When threatened with shame, minds go into overdrive to avoid feeling that shame at all costs.
In that event, listeners feel defensive, tune out, leave the congregation, and sometimes worse.
How do we preach change without suggesting a character assassination?
Follow Abraham’s lead by reminding them of who they already know themselves to be.
HIghlight positively the characters in the bible who reflect the qualities of Jesus Followers
Here are some characteristics most of us believe we have.
By framing a need for change within one or more of these we can encourage our listeners (and ourselves) to live out our core identities.
1. We Are Learners
God learned in the exchange with Abraham.
Jesus learned from the Syrophoenician woman about who deserved the crumbs.
Paul learned that persecuting Christians wasn’t such a good idea after all.
To be a learner means that we are willing to try, experiment, fail, and try again.
It means we’re willing to receive new information, evaluate it against existing information, and decide what to do as a result.
It means that we don’t condemn ourselves or others for evolving in their perspectives or changing course.
It means encouraging the vulnerability needed to take risks, seek out new insights, get it wrong or right, and reflect after the fact about what worked and didn’t.
Being a learner means rejoicing when we get to learn something new about God’s ever-surprising creation!
When preaching, praise biblical characters who take risks, fail, and try again. How might the congregation be in a similar position?
For example, rather than disparage “Doubting Thomas,” praise him for his courage in asking questions, even when he might be afraid of the answers he would get. What questions might the congregation be afraid to ask?
Rather than shake our heads over Peter not “getting it — again!”, hold him up as an example of perseverance and “trusting the process” as he continued to evolve. How is the congregation evolving in their understanding of who Jesus is?
2. We Are Critical Thinkers
Most of us pride ourselves on being able to evaluate information, consider the pros and cons, and come to a rational decision.
This includes being critical thinkers about our emotions and the essential role they play in making good decisions, too.
We think of ourselves as bright, capable, dependable, and emotionally intelligent because for the most part, we are.
We think of ourselves as educated, whether that’s because of books, experience, or street-knowledge, because for the most part, we are.
When presented with a new situation or information, we’re able to respond, adapt, and often do the “right” thing.
When preaching, point out when characters evaluated new information and shifted gears.
Perhaps there is no better example than Paul’s conversion on the road to Damascus. When confronted by the reality of Jesus, Paul had to evaluate his entire education, experience, and purpose.
Peter shifted on what was considered “clean” when confronted with the information provided in his dream (Acts 10:9ff).
In both cases, the new information ran counter to some of their most deeply held beliefs.
Both brought to bear on their decisions all that they knew and had learned.
Through prayer, and discernment with others, both reversed their previously held directions.
What in the congregation’s experience, knowledge, and wisdom can be brought to bear as they critically reflect on the decisions before them?
3. We Are Loving Towards Our Neighbors
We are loving towards our neighbors! Look at our:
soup kitchen
thrift store
welcome sign in the church’s front lawn
greetings that we extend to newcomers!
Indeed, all those are loving acts that show hospitality, awareness, and respect for the needs of others.
When preaching, remind them that what they are already doing is loving. That those acts are not trivial, that they make an important contribution towards sharing with others the love God has for all of us.
When they see that they are acting lovingly in accord with this understanding of themselves, it’s easier to bridge the question to “what’s next” for the children of God who eat in the soup kitchen, or buy their necessities in the thrift store, or drive right past the welcome sign without stopping, or the newcomer making suggestions for change.
In essence, preach the gospel of love: just show a bit more of it!
Re-integrating our fractured selves
We all become fractured at times.
That’s how I see God during the exchange with Abraham, in the same way many parents feel fractured about their adolescent children: torn between wanting to “beat” them and love on them!
All of us, even God, forget who we really are at times, especially when we’re under stress.
We all need to be reminded that who we truly are is who we truly are.
When we see the next step we need to take is merely an extension of who we already are, that step doesn’t feel like such a leap.
And cliché or not, at the same time, we’ll also be taking a step towards becoming the best version of ourselves God knows we already are.